Blind Spot By axel@teri-chan.net Chapter 1 - Draft Document v3 "Sometimes, you just need a fiction to show reality." * * * My first year of high-school was something entirely new to me. I don't know when everything started to change around me. Maybe it was just the very first turn in my life, or maybe it was just me realizing how gigantic the world was around me. It can get quite scary and exciting at the same time... "I will be your homeroom teacher for this year. I already introduced myself during the first day meeting yesterday, but I'm sure some of you weren't listening, so... My name is..." And the teacher, a woman probably in her mid-thirties, from what I could see and hear, started writing her name on the board. That's when I stopped paying attention and looked away a bit at the class around me, or rather, the people directly around me. Right on my left, a girl flashed me a little smile and a small wave of her hand when she saw I was looking at her. This was Karen, one of my two best friends. Her mother is japanese, and her father american, hence the foreign-sounding name. Karen is quite the athletic girl, with a slender figure and curves. That's no surprise most guys drool over her... She has an almost flawless face, and dark blue hair that normally goes down to her back. However, today, she chose to make it into a ponytail tied with a white ribbon. Wait, isn't that light blue...? Ah, that doesn't matter much, anyways... She looked as bored as I was. I smiled back at her and she leaned a little closer to me. "Her name is Eriko Kasuga." she whispered to me, and pointed towards the blackboard and our homeroom teacher. "Oh, thanks." I replied in a soft whisper as well, and looked back in front of me, towards that blackboard and the woman before it. I think she smiled in my direction. "Well, time to introduce ourselves, right? Let's start with the first row, shall we?" And thus began the lengthy process of introduction. This was more than necessary since there were new heads here due to our entrance in high-school. Our school was quite big, covering middle and high-school. It was rare for students to transfer here during middle-school, and most transfers were made on the first year of high-school. My parents decided on this one mainly because it would avoid me the painful experience of discovering new surroundings during my transition from middle to high-school. I didn't really look at who introduced themselves. Their voice was enough to tell me which kind of person they could be. Ah, looks like it's Karen's turn... She stood up, like everyone else before her. "My name is Karen Sakazaki. My father is american, but decided to keep my mother's family name." she starts to explain, as if to clarify things right from the beginning of the year. Clever move. "I like sports and movies, and going out with friends. This may sound a bit classical, but that's how I am. I hope everyone will get along this year." Her speech made a few students chuckle. Nice one Karen-chan, I'm sure you left them with a good impression! "Thank you, Sakazaki-san." the teacher softly said "Next, please." I was next. Spotlight anyone? I stood up slowly from my seat, and looked in front of me, towards the teacher at the other end of the classroom, and started my little introduction speech. I actually thought about it for a while since yesterday. These kind of speeches can decide on your fate for the rest of the year among your classmates. "My name is Ayako Suzumiya." Now is the interesting part. At first I wanted to say I liked aliens and time-travellers and ESPers, but I felt it'd be cliché, somehow. "I enjoy music, both japanese and foreign, as well as manga and novels. I also like writing and singing. Pleased to meet you all." And I bowed a little. I know it sounded quite lame, but that's the best I could come up with. Yes, since yesterday. Oh please, this is just a introduction speech... As I sat back down, the teacher surprisingly didn't call for the next student yet. "Suzumiya-san will need all your help and attention this year..." Ah, I should've known. After all, even though I'm in the same school, many people are new here and don't know me yet, teehee. "...as she suffers from very bad eyesight. She might need help to read things from afar, or write on paper. However, she does everything else almost like we do, so please treat her as someone completely normal and please be friendly to her, okay?" That's strange, I actually feel like I'm special after people introduce me in that way. Some students stared my way, I could feel it. That is expected of course, it's not every day that you have a classmate with a disability. Usually, such kids gain scolarship in a specialized school and never get out of it until they graduate. They live with other handicapped boys and girls, and are confined in these protective environments. Oh of course, once they graduate, they also are accompanied until they find a job, but what kind of job? My parents didn't want that to happen, and now that I'm in age to think for myself, I thank them every day for this decision. Oh, it wasn't that easy all the time. Some teachers actually had a hard time with adapting to my problem, but all in all, I can't complain. I was most of the time among the students teachers put their attention on. It can be a curse when you forget about homework... "This said, next student please." And the introductionary speeches kept on and on until we reached the end of the student roster for our class. The rest was just various informations about the school life and a brief description of the main clubs. Of course, joining a club was greatly encouraged, but not mandatory. I wasn't really into clubs. Most of the time, I accompanied Karen to her track and field club activities, and watch her from afar. I might consider joining the literacy club though... When the bell rang, signaling lunch, Kasuga-sensei actually came to me as I was putting my stuff in my bag. That's when I could inspect her more closely. She had long dark hair, and was pretty well dressed, with a small jacket, shirt, and skirt going down to her knees. I looked up at her as she spoke. "Suzumiya-san, if you need anything, please come to me, alright? You'll easily find me in the teacher's room, I'm right next to the door when you enter." our homeroom teacher told me. She sounds pretty nice to me so far, but let's wait for later classes to be sure of that... "Thank you, sensei. I will remember this." I bowed in thanks. I'm always polite: after all, how can you get angry at an overly polite person? I didn't plan to come to her anytime soon anyways, as I know my way around by now, after years spent in this school building. After she allowed me to leave, I joined with Karen, who was waiting for me outside the classroom, and we went to the cafeteria for lunch. * * * "So, what do we have here?" That's the eternal question I ask Karen everytime we go to lunch at the school's cafeteria. Knowing what you're going to eat is much better than to have a unpleasant surprise, right? "Hmmm, let's see... There seems to be hamburgers today and also some curry-rice with pork." "Ah well, I'll take the katsu-curry-rice then." I replied, following Karen as we took trays out to serve ourselves with lunch and dessert. "Hmmm, follow me, we're going to a table where some classmates of us are." she tells me, making sure I was holding my tray behind her before moving on towards the table. My first lunch in high school was pretty uneventful. I ate with Karen, and some of our classmates. Everyone was chatting about which school they were coming from. "Remember that we're meeting with Shizuka after school..." Karen reminded me, as we were sitting in front of each other. She opted for the hamburger. "Yeah... I hope she's doing alright at her school..." Shizuka is actually my second best friend, and also a childhood friend. She was in the same school as Karen and I until high school, and went to another one in the neighborhood. She wants to become a stylist later, and had to choose a specific school to go to in order to get easier access to a stylist university. "I guess. She must be pretty happy to finally take a step toward her dream." Karen continued. "You didn't think yet about what to do in the future? What about all these speeches the teachers gave us during graduation from middle school? You know, about how we should think about our future and such..." "Bah, I haven't really found something to do yet." she replied, shrugging. Karen can be quite carefree sometimes. But so am I. "I have to admit I didn't think about it much either..." "Well, let's stop thinking about that. We'll meet with Shizuka later and go do some karaoke to celebrate our first year in high school." I grinned at that. I admit I like karaoke, a lot. * * * Our very first class of the year was English, with Kasuga- sensei. I don't mind English much, the sonority and feel of the language rings pretty well to my ears. I have still trouble speaking it fluently, but reading small english novels and fiction sure helps with vocabulary. Obviously, Karen is quite good at it too. As the class began, I placed my laptop on my desk and opened it. Why do I have a laptop, you ask? Well, since I was small, I got trained in writing with typewriters. So I'm not really good at using a pencil. Some could say I'm quite slow at it too, but I don't care. I write on a laptop computer my parents bought me a few years ago, for school. Whenever possible, teachers also give me various stuff on CDs or USB keys, so I can read it on screen instead of on white paper, do some zooming and change the contrast of the page. It's really handy for me, but I just wish the laptop was smaller, it's a little heavy in my bag and takes a lot of room... Let me get this straight: I am not into computers. I don't mind them, but I'm not overly interested either. I'm just using these as tools since I can't read and write properly. Oh, and it's pretty useful too when a class gets real boring. I can write there on another file or read something else without the teachers noticing. Yes, I can be sneaky too. Karen is sitting at my left. Normally seats are decided randomly when a year starts at school, but I always get special treatment. Karen and Shizuka did too, since it's pretty well known here that we are all good friends and that they help me a lot. My seat and desk are actually next to a power outlet so I can charge my laptop whenever I'm in class. Back in middle school, some classmates were pretty jealous I had a computer with me at all times, saying I was watching movies or playing games during classes. There wasn't really a way I could prove that, though, and I tried to ignore them instead... Class could be quite boring sometimes... But what can you expect? Walking around with a laptop in my bag made me look like a rich spoiled brat who could get anything she wanted, epsecially since the teachers were paying so much attention to me most of the time. Thanks to Karen and Shizuka though, who were always defending me, especially Karen too, I was feeling pretty secure, even if just their thoughts of jealousy and all that were hurting me sometimes. But now that's different! I'm in high school, and no one's going to stop or bug me! "Ayako... Close that Solitaire at once." a voice on my left whispered, like a guardian angel. That was Karen, of course. "Aww, but this is so bor..." I started to pout. Another voice came from the front of the class. "Suzumiya-san, could you read for us the rest of the article?" ...Crap. * * * I sighed as the classes ended for today. I was actually able to make it look like I was paying attention though during English earlier. My honor is safe, at least. Karen patted me on the shoulder. "There, there, you should try to get a job as a diplomat or something, that was a close one." I tried to explain I was searching where we were exactly in the text, as I was only listening to it to rest my eyes. Yes, that's what I told the teacher. Yes, it worked, fortunately for me. "That's not very funny Karen-chan." I replied, putting back my laptop in my schoolbag. I was still a bit embarrassed about it. It's not like anyone noticed, I believe, but I didn't want to get unwanted attention like that... "Oh, you should thank me, I tried to warn you about the teacher looking your way." she said with a grin. "Alright, alright, I'll pay for your drink at the karaoke then." I let out with a little sigh. * * * Once outside the school, Karen slipped her arm under mine, to hold me close to her while we were walking around the streets, towards the karaoke where Shizuka was probably waiting already. I couldn't see well at all outside, so Karen often guides me that way, with her arm holding mine close. It didn't seem to embarrass her at all, and I admit I wasn't too embarrassed either, even if from afar, people could mistake us for a couple, or at least, very close friends. Well, we ARE very close friends. As we approached the karaoke building, a girl with short, dark hair and a yellow headband waved at us. Her uniform was quite a contrast with ours, very classy. It was composed of a brown blazer with a white shirt and tie, along with a grey skirt. Comparatively, Karen's and mine were simpler: the usual sailor- like uniform in green tones, with a navy blue pleated skirt. "You're late guys." Shizuka grinned, pointing at us. "Hello there, Shizuka-chan." I said with a little smile, observing her uniform a bit as we got closer. "Well, the classes ended later than we expected, and you know I always have my little baby to carry around." Karen, you meanie...! "Mou...!" I pouted cutely, making Shizuka let go of a small giggle. "Right, let's go in girls." she smiled "We'll have all the time to chat after our hearts will be sated from all the singing!" Did I forget to say that Shizuka also loved karaoke? * * * Karaoke isn't really made for me. Singing in front of a screen with the lyrics displayed is useless to me, as I can't read these from afar, and getting closer to the machine would surely result in my ears ceasing to function in protest after two hours of it all. That was of course, without counting on my ability to memorize the songs I liked by heart. I'm not picky on music, and whenever Garnet Moon by Hitomi Shimatani, or some of Lia's most upbeat songs were on, you could count on me to sing them out loud! Shizuka was actually liking pop and rock songs better, and her and I were often arguing on which song to put on next. It was not much use talking during the karaoke, as the music in those small rooms is pretty loud, but it was pretty refreshing to sing there with my friends... We had time to chat once outside, while walking home. "Well, I'll be off now. I'll pick you up here for school, Ayako-chan." Karen said as she parted from us, once we reached the point where she couldn't go further with Shizuka and I. "Take care." Shizuka replied cheerfully while waving a hand at her. Karen did the same before leaving our sight. "Well, let's head home." Shizuka walked by my side. She practically never held on my arm like Karen often did while we walked together. Maybe it's because she knows me a little better than Karen does. Shizuka knows well that it hurts me a bit to be treated like a kid. After all, both of us have known each other since we were in kindergarten. "How was your first day then? Did you two miss me?" Shizuka asked. "Well, our homeroom teacher is nice. That's pretty much all I can say..." "Not very talkative I see, as usual." she smirked at me. We walked a few more steps before she asked another question. "Any cute boys?" she asked with a grin, this time. Shizuka likes to tease me because of my known lack of luck with guys. At least Karen understands how I feel... "Oh come on, Shizuka, you know how that kind of thing goes with me." "Yeah, either Karen scares them off, or you do." What can I say? It's true... Karen, as beautiful and strong as she is, often intimidates both boys and girls. And me... Well, having a handicap sure doesn't help. "I know you can't see anyone up close, but weren't there any around you during class?" Shizuka asks, pushing on the subject. "I didn't really take time to notice. I mean, I guess there weren't any..." I simply replied, not sounding too interested in the discussion either. It's not like I didn't try to look around, but I guess that in my class, boys weren't of the special kind. Or maybe it was too early to "Aaaah, boooring." she shrugged. We arrived soon enough at a crossroads. I wasn't too far from my own house, but Shizuka was living nearby this road. "I'll leave you here, will you be okay, Ayako-chan?" she asked kindly. "Yes, no worries, Shizuka-chan. I know my way from here." I smiled back. We waved a little at each other, and I walked silently towards my home. At this hour, the sun was already low, allowing me to walk freely without having to hide my eyes from the sun or blink every second. I actually like darkness. Well, semi-darkness to be exact. The sun tends to blind me pretty easily outside. As I walked towards the streets of the residential area, which I know well since I lived there ever since I was born, I suddenly bumped into someone on my right at another crossroads. No harm though, I didn't fall. "I'm sorry." I blurted out, bowing a little in apology. As I looked up, I realized I bumped into an older man, probably a salary man going home, judging from his outfit. "Look where you're going girl!" he snarled back. H...Hey! "I'm sorry sir, I have eyesight problems." "Well, how am I supposed to know?!" He is really getting on my nerves now. That's what I first thought. "I'm sorry!" I blurted out again, not wanting to get in bad terms with anyone. Well, after all I was at fault there, wasn't I? "Ah, whatever..." he got tired as well, and turned back without a word, heading in the direction I just came from. Really, I pity his wife and children, if he has any. He doesn't look very happy at all. Shrugging, I headed home, being a bit more careful this time. This isn't the first time I bump accidentally into people, but still, that one sounded pretty annoyed... * * * "I'm... hoooooome!" I cheered as I took a step inside the house I live in. "Welcome home, Ayako-chan." my mother replied from the kitchen. I took off my shoes at the entrance of our house and walked towards the source of the voice. My mother was there, starting preparations for dinner. She is actually of the housewife type. I don't really agree with such a way of life, but at least it allows her to prepare delicious food for my father, my older sister, and I... I just don't want to become a housewife later. I'm bad with chores anyways. "How was your first day then?" she asks, visibly excited. My mother is actually rather good-looking despite being in her fourties, with her long, black hair, tied in a braid that she usually lets down in front of her, on her right side. She is quite calm and loving most of the time, although she can be scary when she gets angry at us... Never EVER push her to her limits. "It was okay I guess. As usual. The teacher is pretty nice too, looks like it'll be another good year. We also met with our maths teacher, but there's nothing much to say about him... He didn't greet us or anything and started right away with his lesson." I shrugged. I didn't like talking about what happened during a day, unless I got asked precise questions. I guess I just don't want to bore anyone by talking about things they don't want to hear... "I see... Did they put you in the same class as Karen-chan?" I nodded. "That's good... I'm preparing dinner, why don't you go change? Your father should be home any minute now." I nodded again, like a good girl, and went to my room to change into something more comfortable. I can't say my new school uniform is uncomfortable, but there's no need to make it dirty while at home, is there? * * * I stayed in my room for a while, mainly to prepare all of my books for tomorrow, until someone stepped into my room. Without a knock? That could only be... "Hiya, Ayako-chan." the voice came from the doorway. "Miyuki-nee, you could knock, before entering someone's room." I replied a little irritatedly. "Oh c'mon..." The young woman before me was none other than my elder sister, Miyuki. She has some long, wavy red hair, and works at a book publishing company as an office lady. Not the kind of work I'd like to do in the future either, but they say it has career opportunities. Right, right, as long as you don't mind being seduced by your boss or something in those lines. Miyuki was in a tank top and some shorts. It's her usual attire around the house, since she has to wear a tight blouse and skirt most of the time at work. I honestly laughed when I saw her first in her work uniform. I could never wear that, ever! That looked too serious for me. "So, how was your first day of high-school?" she asks, having only taken a step into my room. "Why don't you ask mother?" I asked back, while working on my books. I was pretending to be busy. "Hey, I'm just asking you how it was!" she replied while placing her hands on her hips. "It was alright, really. Just bumped into some guy while heading back home..." I replied, trying to shrug her off. "What, he didn't see you coming?" "No, I was the one who didn't. That's alright though, nothing to worry about." "Hmph..." and she went off, obviously as annoyed as I was. Good, now I can relax. Frankly? I don't like my sister much. When I was younger, she used to tease me a lot, it was quite irritating at times. I felt like a pet being teased by a kid, really... She was still living with us, her salary not allowing her to get an apartment yet. Plus, her current boyfriend couldn't afford one either, so she was sticking with us despite her age. She's about seven years older than me, which makes her about twenty-three now... "Dinner is ready!" I heard mother call from downstairs. Aaaah, food... * * * "Miyuki-nee! Why did you tell them!?" I asked, frowning, while sitting at the kitchen table, in front of my sister. We were just starting eating, when my mother asked me about the person I bumped into on my way here. Ah, I hate being disturbed when I'm eating! I easily get angry when my parents are starting to sound concerned about me. They're way too overprotective, especially my mother, and she easily gets worried. My father, on the other hand often appears like he isn't that much concerned about me, but I know he thinks no less. He is pretty handsome too despite his years, in my opinion. "Ayako-chan, you don't have to hide anything from us, you know?" my father added. "But it was... insignifiant! I mean, bumping into someone..." "Yet, it could have been worse. What about if it was a car?" my mother interjected. "I can HEAR cars coming you know, I'm not deaf." I replied back, obviously annoyed at this discussion. "What about a bicycle then?" "..." What can I say? Bicycles don't make much noise, not as much as cars anyways. I got surprised more than once to suddenly feel someone on a bicycle passing by me, in the past. Of course, there are those who ring their bike bell like crazy to avoid people, but there are some who expect you to see them coming and avoid them by yourself... "She's right, plus the person wasn't probably aware you don't see well." my father added. "Why doesn't she use a white cane then?" my sister asked, looking at both our parents. "White canes are for BLIND people! I'm NOT blind!" I argued back. Don't you hate it when people exaggerate too much about a situation? I certainly do. "You're not, but you definitely don't see well, it'd be a good idea, just in case..." Father... really... "Just in case of what...?" "It might be a good idea I think. Tomorrow we'll see about buying one, okay? After you come back from school." Mother suggested. And when she suggests something... "Wait a minute, I'm not agreeing on this...!" "At least come and see how it is?" I sighed, deeply, to show my irritation. "All right, all right...!" I said hurriedly, and ate my dinner in silence. I will be able to refuse it after I tried it, right? * * * The second day of high-school went without a glitch. We discovered new teachers, and had another class with Kasuga- sensei, as uneventful as the rest of the day. I was already starting to get moody with the idea of going to town with my mother to get a white cane. I know that's what blind people use to move around and detect obstacles, but I don't need to detect obstacles, I can see them perfectly! Well, not exactly, but I can see them a bit, at least. Karen shrugged as I told her about it. We were walking out of the school building, and towards the front gate. "Well, y'know, it can be helpful. I know sometimes you have trouble seeing stuff on the ground when there is a lot of sun." Karen's got a point here... "But still, I feel... I feel like I'm degenerating or something." "Come on, Ayako-chan, that's too extreme. Your eyesight isn't getting any worse, is it?" "Of course not, I'd be able to notice... I think..." As we approached the school gate, Karen nudged me a little. She always does that to get my attention when she spots something I didn't see. "Hey, your mother's waiting for you at the gate entrance." I did take a closer look at the gate. Yes, there was someone waiting there, and she looked like my mother all right. "Geh...!" I did a grimace. Really! I'm not a little girl anymore! Which high school girl has her mother coming to get her at the end of the school day? ...Honestly! I approached her, frowning a bit. I'm going to look like a spoiled brat for sure now! "Ayako-chan, I came to pick you up. It's better that way, isn't it? You don't have to go back home first..." "Yes, yes, I got it. Now let's go." I said hurriedly. The last thing I wanted was to hear gossip about my mother coming personally pick me up at school. "Do you want to come with us, Karen-chan?" my mother asked. "Oh... well, maybe I'd get in the way..." Honestly, I didn't care one bit at this point. I just didn't want to go anyways, it didn't matter if Karen or Shizuka were there or not...! "I don't think so, honestly." Mother looked at Karen with an encouraging smile now. "I guess I'll accompany you, then." she bowed a little, and came to me, taking my left arm in hers. "Let's go, Ayako-chan." she just said. Before I could make a step forward, I felt someone take my right arm too. Hey, I feel awkward now! I looked at my right, and saw mother holding my other arm as well. "Looks like you have two bodyguards Ayako-chan." Mother said, making Karen giggle a little. Somebody... help? * * * Unrtunately, only Karen was holding my arm during the walk from school to the shop Mother wanted to take me to. We all went to a small shop, apparently belonging to some sort of association to help visually handicapped people out. My parents sometimes went there to gather possible information about what to do with my eyesight problems, but it was rarely useful. Most people here are completely blind, and can't really relate to my own problems, as I can't relate to theirs. The shopkeeper, an old man apparently still seeing well, took us to a backroom of his shop, where he produced a few white canes out of a cupboard. He handed one to me, it was pretty small, and could easily fit in my schoolbag. "I'll look ridiculous if I wave this around as I walk." The old man frowned a little and looked at me sternly "Young lady, it's a telescopic one." "Heh?" I looked at it more closely, and it looked like the tip could be unscrewed by hand? I gave it a try, and took off the tip of the cane, which started to grow almost instantly as I pointed the thing downwards. "Aaah, that's kind of handy." I remarked, getting into it before I could realize it. What can I say? Never give a girl a new toy, whatever it may be. I saw him turning back and getting another one. I gave him back the telescopic one, that he very naturally pointed upwards so the cane would shrink quickly into its original form. He then handed me another one, this one was in several parts. "What is it now, I must build this one myself?" I joked. "No, no, just take one part and hang it downwards." he instructed. I did so, and before my eyes, the cane unfolded. It was a bit surprising though, as it made a lot of noise. Indeed, the cane is held together by some elastic inside, each part fitting into one other. "When you don't need it, you can fold it and put the small chain around it so it won't unfold by itself." he explained, taking my hand to make me feel the different parts. As good as his intentions might be, I just hate it when people think I'm blind and make me touch things... Mother and Karen were still behind, watching with interest, I bet... I didn't care much anymore at this point. "Which one would you like, then?" the old man asked. I considered it for a few seconds. Once shrinked, the telescopic one was smaller, but if I were to lose the removable tip... "I'll take the foldable one I guess..." Why did I agree to this in the first place? I have no idea. I guess it would have been pretty impolite for mother who went through all the trouble of coming to school to pick me up... "Okay... You can keep it." he smiled, and moved next to me. "Look, you have to use it like that. Move it around while you walk." He showed me how to do it. It was pretty simple actually, but I had a hard time finding a use to it. I mean, I can SEE obstacles... "Well, looks like it'll do." he smiled, I think, and went to mother, probably for payment. Karen approached and looked at the cane more closely "That's a nice new toy you have here, ne?" "That's not a toy, and besides, I still don't see why I absolutely need it!" Surprisingly, Karen looked at me with a warm smile, as if she knew something I didn't. "Don't worry, it'll really come in handy one day." I frowned, I didn't like the sound of this, but before I could say anything, she spoke again. "I don't mean it like you'll lose your sight one day, Ayako- chan, but... well, you'll see by yourself." she patted me on the shoulder again. It's quite a common gesture for her, at least with me. I started to wonder what she meant by this. * * * We left the shop and the kind old man, my cane in hand. I could actually attach it to my wrist so not to lose it if it ever fell from my hand. "Why don't you try to get home alone with this, Ayako-chan?" Mother suddenly suggested as we were about to cross a street. "Heh? That's not a GPS you know..." I said, looking down at the cane. "Try it. I'll invite both Karen-chan and Shizuka-chan for dinner, so you'll have a reason to get home." Is she kidding me? "Okay, okay, I GET IT." I fumed, and went my own way, without looking back. From where I was, I recognized the area well, and could easily come back home. Obviously, inviting Karen and Shizuka was just a pretext for mother to make me try to get home with this cane in hand, all by myself. I'm a big girl, I'll show her! My first impression was quite confusing. Some people were looking at me, I could feel it, and others were simply avoiding me at all costs while walking in my direction. It's as if I was pushing away people... A very unpleasant feeling, really. I was pretty irritated at the noises the cane was making on the ground when I tapped it on the pavement. There was of course this central part on the sidewalks which is different in color and texture... It actually helps blind people to recognize their way on the sidewalk. I don't need that though, and I tried to keep the cane's tip just above the ground, and wave it a little. It felt quite awkward... The waving effect made people avoid me. You could see that in two different ways: either you're doing a parade with that cane and people make room for you to get through, like some big star walking on the street, or they avoid you as if you had an contagious illness. I reacted more like it was the latter at first, and that's quite unpleasant, really! At a crossroads, I was looking at the street perpendicular to the one I wanted to cross. If the cars there go forward, then it means the ones at the street I want to cross will be at a stop. It's an easy way for me to tell if the light is green or not on my side. Who said I wasn't smart? Then it was another crossroads again. I waited, patiently, for the light to go green. "Excuse me... It's green." the voice of a young woman went to my ears. "Heh?" I looked back. "It's green, you can cross. Do you need some help?" she asked. She was a petite office lady, probably in her twenties. Nothing like my sister at all, actually. She as a much less irritating voice and attitude. She walked with me as I crossed the road. "Thank you, I see a little though." I replied, a little bitter perhaps. But I really hate it when people think I'm blind. That can't be helped, since I use a white cane now, symbol of blindness. People with white canes are usually given much more attention: cars even stop in front of you when they see you have that magical item. Come to think of it... ...It wasn't such a bad thought. Plus, it was kind of making me autonomous in a way, wasn't it? I usually got accompanied by either Karen, Shizuka or my family when I went outside.... I waved the cane around a bit in front of me as I walked, getting the hang of it. I guess I wasn't doing it just like blind people do to detect stuff on the ground, like stairs or other obstacles, but it would be good enough to indicate people that I don't see well. Yes, I definitely like the sound of that. Kind of makes me all special, teehee. I went home without problems, no bumping anymore, and some people offered to walk me across streets more than once. But each time, I told them I could see a bit, and thanked them for their gesture. I could even pretend I'm a magical girl with that! Yes! Magical Girl High-Schooler Ayako! No, that definitely sounds stupid. And I'm not a little girl anymore, am I? I guess I will keep that cane with me, for now... * * * To be continued.